


5 things Derrick can do with his hammer (And one thing he technically could but won’t do)

by CharonKatharsis



Category: The Almighty Johnsons
Genre: 5+1 Things, Character Study, Gen, and some uses it shouldn't have, mentions of the multiple uses a hammer can have, some things never change
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-27
Updated: 2015-09-27
Packaged: 2018-04-23 16:45:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 794
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4884232
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CharonKatharsis/pseuds/CharonKatharsis
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Derrick's hammer is the sacred tool of Thor and it has many uses.</p>
            </blockquote>





	5 things Derrick can do with his hammer (And one thing he technically could but won’t do)

1\. 

The whole farm seemed to be falling apart one by one so it had become Derrick’s routine to inspect his property every Thursday. Thursday was his day after all and since nobody else was around anymore he used the time to repair all the things that needed mending. Sure, he wasn’t the best one for the job but even if the planks were nailed a bit askew and his fence looked as if it would fall apart soon, he still took pride in his work. In the end he was the one who kept the whole farm running and some crooked nails and holes in the planks did nothing to lessen this.

2\. 

Thor’s hammer looks suspiciously like a normal hammer and yet Derrick guards it like the treasure it is. His daughter once lent the hammer to their neighbours and it took Derrick almost half an hour to get it back. The neighbours were rather shocked to find him inside their living room to retrieve the hammer but he just took it and left. Thor’s hammer held powers, this he could feel, dull though his senses were at times. Derrick can use those powers, of course, as he is Thor but when it comes to mortals he doesn’t know so he makes sure to guard the hammer and thus protect them. In the end Thor has always been a god of the people.

3\. 

Derrick hates reading. From early on he had never seen the point: What he needed to know was outside and he could tell by looking at his crop or his livestock what he had to do next. Unfortunately his incarnation as human comes with a lot of disadvantages, one of them being the fact that he has to hand in an annual tax declaration. There are a lot of forms to fill out, so he spends the whole day sitting on his veranda to fill them out. The wind is howling and his mind is completely focused on those damned forms but the stack of paper is savely tucked under the weight of his hammer.

4\. 

The wrath of Thor is legendary and the wrath of Derrick is, too. At least where he lives everyone knows not to disturb him or approach him or even acknowledge his existence when he seems in a bad mood. Which is almost all the time.. They consider him a lunatic who always runs around with his hammer. There are tales being told about that one time Derrick was so drunk he started a fight in the pub and tried to bludgeon some dude with his hammer. But they don’t know the truth: It had been no ordinary man he had fought with, quite the opposite. In fact a giant had wandered into his territory and it was Thor’s right, no, his duty to smite giants. In the end the giant had escaped and Derrick had to spend the night in a cell but there was no way he could have allowed a giant to roam freely in his presence.

5\. 

Few people know that Derrick is a loving father in his own way. He had wanted his daughter to be Frigg so she would be safe and happy with his mighty lord Odin. It hadn’t worked out because unfortunately she was neither Frigg nor even a goddess and she left him. Without her around it is lonely sometimes but he understands, albeit slowly and with the explanations given to him by Odin. She is happy with that mortal she loves and whose baby she will have soon. He carefully beats down on the wood to make it sink onto the dowel. He hopes his grandchild will sleep comfortably in the delicate cradle he had been working on for weeks now.

\---------------------------------------

6\. 

Derrick doesn’t like a lot of people. He doesn’t even like a lot of gods and goddesses but there is one god he loathes especially and that’s Loki. Who, to him, isn’t even a god. He remembers Loki’s true descent before Odin accepted him into the Aesir pantheon and he hasn’t forgotten about Loki’s taunts, not those in this life not those in his past lives. Thor never forgets any offence. One of these days he will face Loki alone because not only does Thor hate Loki, even Derrick hates the guts of Colin and he’d love to bash his head in or shove his hammer into that spiteful creature’s ass. But of course he won’t, Odin has forbidden the Aesir any fights so bashing Colin’s head in is out of the equation. And the other thing... first of all his hammer is sacred and second he is quite certain that degenerated god of everything spiteful would probably even enjoy it.


End file.
